I accidentally had phone sex last night
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
