Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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