just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
