i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize