Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
