I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
