You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
After tacos, we're chasing women.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
