one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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