I am full of burrito and curiosity
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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