I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
