she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
