the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize