sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
