Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the condom got lost in my hair
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
