So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
