Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i think my cat just said my name.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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