Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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