I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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