I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
