I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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