The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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