I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
