I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
