i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
