Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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