so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize