Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
