yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
