i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
