5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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