i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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