its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
