dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
