How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
