nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
