We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
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