is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize