When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
