atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
