At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
