JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize