bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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