Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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