2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
