This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
