Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Why is your signature on my underwear?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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