like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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