Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
