Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
