I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm like, not good at living.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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