I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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