Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
