I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
how drunk are you?
Several
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
