and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
