i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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