with your own penis?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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