Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
