He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize