Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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