Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
