Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
