I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
