he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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