The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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