My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
