I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
