I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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