I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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