You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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